How to Find Your Self Worth
In this article, you’ll learn how to find your self worth and build confidence towards positive self esteem. These self love tips will help you to begin to better understand self awareness and find your best self. Through self acceptance, you’ll learn how to motivate yourself and improve your gratitude attitude in every aspect of your life.
When you’re feeling down or letting someone else’s judgement get to you, it’s important to know how to gain confidence and keep it up.
Some people are naturals at always being confident in themselves, however for many, we need to tune up how we feel about ourselves and how confident we are in our abilities. In this article, we’re going to give you some great tools to gain confidence, at work and at home!
Rebuilding your confidence takes time, and the hardest part is believing that you are enough, that there is no scale to measure yourself versus anyone else.
For anyone and everyone, you already have the confidence within you right now and what’s holding you back is a limiting belief that you lost your confidence along the way. For this article, let’s first dive into some of the limiting beliefs that may be holding you back.
Let's jump right in!
Your confidence can be affected vastly by external forces if the right tools aren’t in place for a deep sense of self. There could be a negative person in your life who is dismissive or condescending towards you. Or, you’re in a career that is negative for your personality. Both can peck away at your overall confidence over time.
Not only are people and activities a contributing factor to low confidence, but even the type of media and entertainment we engage in. If you’re constantly looking at comparison articles or shows, you will begin to internalize that feeling of “I’m not good enough like they are” or even worse, “I’ll never be good enough.”
Your Inner Critic
Along with external negativity, internal negativity is a whole other concept to wrangle. Of course, with external negativity comes internal thoughts and doubt of self, but what about the negativity that was already there?
This internal negativity comes from doubt. Doubt that you can’t do what you want to do because you’re you. External factors feed into this doubt, but we already planted that seed before we unknowingly invited others to water it.
LACK OF SUPPORT
This is huge and one of the main reasons why we continue spiral down into even lower confidence in the things that we do: lack of support. With external and internal factors digging a deeper hole, having little to no support is something that will keep you thinking lowly of yourself.
Without support, you won’t have that positive affirmation that you are great, just the way you are. That the constant ebb-and-flow of your personality is welcomed and you shouldn’t be ashamed or conceal some aspects of your personality for others.
Support can be hard to find, especially if you are surrounded by negative people in your life already.
As with most of our mindsets, your brain is hard-wired to look for people who are similar to those around you, who you’ve had experiences with. Regardless if they are positive or negative experiences.
NEGATIVE RESULTS FROM THE PAST
This is one of my biggest struggles that I always fell into. Using your experiences from the past to foretell the future can be devastating to your confidence and self-image. This doesn’t mean to not use your wisdom from the past, this is for those (myself included, big time!) who say:
“I failed at (barely related topic) before, I’ll fail at (current project) because of it.”
With shaky confidence and a lack of self-compassion, you are predisposed to pick yourself apart, and with using negative results to foretell your future outcome is apart of that circle.
Sometimes, it can be done unknowingly!
When you don’t realize you’re not as confident as you should be and your self-image is low, this comparison of outcomes can be very, very deep-seated in your mindset.
Fear of Judgement
Although this topic falls into a few different categories, I wanted to bring a light onto one of the biggest reasons why we may not be as confident as we should be.
From negativity around us, inside of us, or in the past, our fear of judgement from others can be quite a burden if you haven’t found a solid foundation of confidence within yourself.
We put so much emphasis on what other’s think that we begin to question if we think that way as well. With a lack of confidence, we fear bringing our flaws to the main-stage because we fear that we will crumble under this unspoken pressure.
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Before we rebuild your confidence, let’s take a moment to delve into some repair work so these tools can stick. Repair work is always necessary when adding something to your routine, it helps to clear a spot and have yourself ready for the new activity or mindset.
Take a moment to introduce a question into your quiet time. Your you-time. If you’re still searching for your own customized, morning routine, take a look at How to Own Your Morning Routine that Actually Works for You.
During your reflection, ask yourself these questions. If you’re an avid journaler like me, include this in your journal too! As for right now, grab a piece of paper or open up a blank document on your device!
If everything went as you planned, where would you be in 3 years?
What type of person would you be? On your to-do list, what would you mark off? When you look at where you'll be or who you want to be, you'll start to embody that role. Write it, think out this question as if you were writing a memoir.
Getting into character is a fantastic way to gain confidence. It’s almost as if you’re patting someone else on the back. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in being a critic to ourselves, that we forget to reward ourselves for doing something good.
What hurdles are in Your way for your dreams?
What brings you down or stresses you out? Are you craving training in your career or looking for a better opportunities/projects?
When you’re looking at why you feel stuck or discouraged, it’s important to focus on the changeable: the pain points that are within your control.
It’s easy to say “I don’t get along with my boss” but in order to grow and move past this, it’s wiser to say “I don’t know how to work with my team.”
That statement is an action statement that is within your power to change and grow from. Instead of putting the change on other’s, all we can control is how we process our own emotions and actions.
For these questions, get as detailed as you’d like! Again, it’s much easier to write out these questions because we get outside of our heads. When you say things aloud, or write them down, you get to hear them and process them better then you would if you just remained as a thought-activity.
Studies show that we’re much more receptive to believing things that we hear and read, rather than things we just keep thinking!
Once you’ve got yourself prepped and cleared the air of these questions, let’s talk about what you can do to gain confidence and give it boost!
Know Your Weaknesses
Isn’t it weird that knowing ourselves starts with knowing what we’re not awesome in? When we cover up our flaws or try to work on our weaknesses more than our strengths, we set ourselves up for more disappointment than success.
When we obsess over our weaknesses, we begin to see ourselves as never growing, even stuck!
Failure is essential for success because it gives us the essential feedback we need to let us know what didn’t work so we can try a different way.
But if you’re struggling on how to process your disappointments as feedback, then that stumble becomes an obstacle in your path that you can easily work around.
Knowing your weaknesses are key to building confidence.
If you’re someone who has a hard-time managing your time, it can seem like you’re fighting an uphill battle if you’re always constantly trying to make Plan-A work! Instead of trying to fight this character trait, learn to work with it and learn from it.
In this example, say you’ve tried planners, but you just can’t get into the habit of pre-planning everything.
Maybe work/life is always changing day to day on short notice and that’s okay! Planners aren’t for everyone, maybe getting into calendar planning is easier or even just making a cohesive to-do list for each day.
Again, don’t fight and try to make the square fit into the circle, working with what you have is the best way to give yourself a break from your inner critic!
When you can plan around and use your weaknesses, your confidence level will climb. You won’t constantly get knocked down by going against your natural grain. You’ll learn how to process those character traits into something that works for you, not someone else.
Start your day with your priorities
This is my all-time favorite tip, and it helps meld my personal-work time together without it feeling burdensome.
I can’t stand feeling unproductive throughout the day, but I also hate having a massive to-do list following me around. (Who’s with me on this?)
It’s hard to keep those two competitive feelings in check, so how can we compromise?
Marking off your major prioritizes on your list is manageable, especially if you zone in just a handful. For me, my magic number is 3: 3 prioritized tasks each day.
Having three tasks that you’re going to cross off is a huge productivity boost and confidence boost. Even if you are constantly changing day after day, you can still manage to pick three things that you're going to put the majority of your focus into completing.
What works for me is picking 3 different tasks that relate to a bigger goal of mine.
For example, I pick one personal, one work related, and one hobby-related. With this tactic, I don't feel as if I'm putting all my eggs into one basket each day. What's great about this method is that you can shift it around if one aspect of your life gets a little unruly!
When you pick three tasks to complete for the day, you begin to gain confidence by seeing daily growth. There are tons of successful entrepreneurs and CEO's who quote this method as their go-to for getting everything done.
FINDing A SUPPORTIVE COMMUNITY
With a supportive community, you won’t believe how beneficial it is to have people who like you for you. Having someone to affirm that you are good enough is huge to rebuilding your confidence.
A supportive community can build you up and give you that positivity that shines on your new self-esteem foundation! Like-minded people who enjoy your time and you for being you are quintessential to your journey to rebuild your self-esteem.
PUTTING YOUR HEALTH & WELLNESS FIRST
A self care routine can be difficult to implement, especially when you’ve been battling low confidence for a long time. We get so wrapped up into an all-or-nothing mindset that we stop practicing being kind to ourselves when we stumble.
When we don’t take care of ourselves, we begin to lose our grip on everything around us. This, in turn, “proves” that we have failed and digs us even deeper into negative self-image.
With self care, starting small can give you the momentum and confidence to recharge yourself and begin to soothe those old wounds of your past.
There’s a whole article dedicated to starting a self-care routine that will give you the best tips on how to begin and where to start!
Self Care Toolkit & Resources
If you’re looking to completely up-level your self care routine, don’t forget to pick up your Self Care Toolkit!
Learn how to effectively create a self care routine that’s personalized to you & your lifestyle. These self care tips cover the biggest obstacles when it comes to implementing your self care, from schedules to brainstorms.
Within these inclusive worksheets, planners, & guides, you’ll learn how to build your self worth and take better care of yourself each and every day!
Get ready to transform your well-being & up-level your self care routine!
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POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS FOR rebuilding your confidence
Shifting your mindset to focus on what you feel confident about, what you’re good at, will need to be done every day during the beginning stages. Keeping a journal with one positive thing about yourself each day will rebuild that relationship with you.
If you’re struggling with creating a positive affirmation for yourself, use one of these from below! Saying these aloud will help to lead you down a path towards a more positive self image.
Once you get the hang of saying these to yourself, you can branch out and begin to create your own for each and every day!
To gain confidence doesn't mean to be good at everything, it means knowing how to play the hand you were dealt to the best of your ability.
That old adage of work smarter, not harder is still alive and well today! When you begin to change your mindset into looking at the other side of the problem, your solutions become more readily available.
Not only that, but you also don't have to hope that someone else has to change to fix the problem you're encountering. You don't have to hope that someone doesn't touch a sore spot when the solution lies within you to change how you process what they're saying.
With these simple shifts, you will notice your confidence begin to grow and build itself up!
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